Fearless Women
Monday, August 18th 2008 @ 2:29 PM (not yet rated)
This is a photo of me taken by celebrity photographer Mary Ann Halpin. It is my moment in time, my transition, a symbol of my midlife passage into knowing who I am...
I turned 55 in July and I have been on the “who am I?” train for lots of years, only now the journey is more purposeful and focused. As Marianne Williamson says, “At midlife, you suddenly see an end game where you used to see an endless stretch.”
I attended the E-women Network National Conference in Dallas in July with the BuzZen management team: co-founders Jody England, and Kim Yardlay, Sales Manager, Rose Pagonis, and our BuzZen caretaker Joy Ginn. We were all exposed to amazing women and opportunities. One of the optional events was to have a photo taken by Mary Ann Halpin with the same sword that had been held by women like Joni Mitchell, Sandra Yancey, Leeza Gibbons, and Erin Brokovitch in Mary Ann's book, “Fearless Women: Midlife Journeys”. This photo shoot was my birthday gift to myself.
The night before the photo shoot we stayed up late talking about what we wanted our individual photos to reflect of our true selves. Like everything in life, you can plan and project the future but it will turn out how it turns out! I thought I would do a clever tree pose to show balance and joy and was striking kooky Ninja poses to show everyone how I thought my photo would turn out.
I watched Rose go first. Everyone in the room was moved by the tiny photo she brought of herself as a young girl, a Greek immigrant, scared and authentic. Now she was having her photo taken again, as a strong, beautiful goddess and she was so striking with her black hair, fair skin and red lips. As her pictures were being taken, there was a light in her eyes, a sparkle. If the little scared Rose could have only known how strong and fearless Rose would be today.
When Mary Ann was ready for me, she took a moment to explain the significance of the sword, and as I held it I felt present to the symbolism and energy of holding a sword that meant so much to so many women as they had their fearless women photos taken. I stood in front of the camera and I felt completely myself, no ego, no artifice, no expectations to look a certain way. It was just me and it felt like God’s eye was on me in the form of Mary Ann’s camera. I could just be. Mary Ann never told us how to pose. She honored that every woman in front of her camera was different and unique. At that moment in time, I felt connected, looked up and held the sword across my heart. That was “The” picture.
Ladies, nothing is better than having your girlfriends around to support you. It means so much to me to have a once in a lifetime experience like this and be able to share it not only with the women who were at my side, but now with you.
Being fearless to me means taking chances and leaning into my fear. We don’t get to midlife without some brave moments and well earned scars. And those lessons are the juice in life. There is a centeredness to midlife, a knowing that all is well and a feeling that I am more connected to the now, the present moment.
Marianne Williamson says these are sacred years. “Finding out who we actually aren’t, we begin to understand at last who we actually are.”
Thank you, Mary Ann Halpin, Goddess of the Camera,Muse of Creativity
