I See You
Tuesday, December 15th 2009 @ 5:45 PM (not yet rated)
As I was shopping for Christmas gifts for my family this weekend, I could feel myself getting swept up in the crush of materialism and holiday madness. I want to get my kids everything on their lists. I want them to be happy. I want their Christmas to be magical.
With all the external distractions it is hard to stay focused on how to create that for them if not with the bright, shiny things on their ever-growing menu of requests…
Can you relate?
In this season of 24/7 marketing messages about things you MUST HAVE in order to be happy, it is important to consciously shift your thoughts to ones that lead you toward feelings of happiness and fulfillment.
One of my favorite ways to get back into alignment is the “Ordinary is Extraordinary” game. It’s part of our BuzZen Box curriculum. The basic rules of the game are that you choose at least one activity per day to give extraordinary attention to. (More than once a day is even better.)
If you are brushing your teeth, for example, you engage all five senses. You notice the smell and taste of the toothpaste, the feel of the bathroom tile under your feet, the sound of the water running in the sink and the brightness of the lights reflecting your image. Any time you notice yourself drifting into thoughts other than about the present activity, you simply refocus and put your attention back on the task at hand.
What wonderful moments this creates! For me, one of the greatest rewards in this activity is in my interactions with my children. I can get so busy with my tasks, chores, and checklists that I end up mentally checking out of actually “being” with my kids. Through the Ordinary is Extraordinary activity I am reminded to check back in.
In Central Africa, when people meet each other on the road, one person begins with the traditional, “Hello. How are you?” and the response given is not the rote and mindless, “I’m fine. How are you?”
Instead, the answer given is translated into English as, “I see you.”
Imagine that. I see you. What a precious gift to give someone! To truly see them and be there in that moment with them. Who doesn’t want to really be seen by another human being? To know that you exist in a real way for someone else.
My daughter had a cold this weekend and was extra whiny and clingy. At times my reaction to that would be irritation
at how it might infringe upon my need to do my Christmas wrapping, errand running, household chores, etc. However, this weekend I was playing Ordinary is Extraordinary, so I decided that while I was holding her, I would just play the game. I noted the delicate weight of her tiny body, the sound of her nasally breathing, the heat of her slightly feverish hand, her total lack of self-consciousness, and the beauty of her long gorgeous eyelashes. I relished in the wonder of her and I really saw her. It was amazing!
Such a blessing. Who cares about whether the Christmas cards get out on time or the lunch dishes get done right now, when there is a miracle right in your own presence! How lucky I am to enjoy this special gift.
At the dinner t
able, my son was playing one of his many make-believe games. He was rambling on about the rules of who should do this and what character should do that. I suddenly tuned into him like a dial on the radio finding its station. “Ordinary is Extraordinary alert!” I looked at him and allowed my mind to clear and to focus. I noticed the beautiful smoothness of his little boy face. I paid attention to the excitement and earnestness in his voice. I made eye contact with him while he laid out the who’s, what’s, and why’s of his story. I watched him shift around in his seat with excitement. My heart softened with understanding and connection with my son.
As I watched him, I whispered in my mind, “I see you.”
Your life is a miracle in progress. You just have to pay attention. At this sacred time of year when we give gifts to others and yearn for joy and wonder in our lives, remember that gifts don’t have to be material to be really extraordinary. In fact, the most special ones aren’t things that can be purchased at all.
Who can you give the gift of your seeing them this Holiday season? The gift of your attention will be theirs. The joy and wonder of the experience will be yours.
